Ending a marriage or a long-term relationship is hard, no matter the reason. Often, it can turn your whole world upside down and make it difficult to do things that normally come as second nature. Here’s how to navigate this process so that you can emerge from this experience feeling empowered and ready to tackle whatever comes next.
Care for your physical needs.
When going through a tough time emotionally, we often forget to look after ourselves physically. When was the last time you showered, exercised, or ate a balanced meal? Growth comes in multiple forms, assisted by both internal work, as well as external support. Take time to show your body gratitude.
Nothing lasts forever.
While healing isn’t linear, remember that your life will feel normal again someday. The feelings you’re processing right now won’t last forever—you’d be surprised just how soon you’ll start to feel like yourself again by showing yourself a little grace.
You don’t have to do this alone.
Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members, find a support group, and find a therapist who can help you work through your feelings. Resilience Lab has therapists that specialize in divorce—find the perfect fit for you.
Rediscover your interests.
Although it might not feel like it right away, you’ve been given an incredible opportunity to take more time for yourself. Dust off your old craft projects, try a new gym, or take a class in something you’re interested in.
Give yourself a break.
It’s unrealistic to expect yourself to function as if everything is normal, when it doesn’t feel that way. Maybe you won’t be as productive as you normally are. Maybe you need to take some time off work. Take time to regroup and re-energize yourself.
What to do when kids are involved.
Learning that your parents are no longer going to be together is tough for anyone. Here are a few things you can do to make this change easier. Reassure and actively listen. Make sure they know that this breakup is not their fault, that they’re loved, and their feelings are valid.
Maintain consistency.
A lot is changing, but their routines don’t have to. Keep their lives as consistent as possible.
Continue parenting.
Agree with your children’s other parent on bed times, curfews, and discipline. This will make co-parenting easier if you’re able to plan this earlier rather than later.
Refrain from confiding.
Avoid confiding in them about your divorce—adult friends, family, and your therapist can handle these emotions, but your children are likely to feel the effects of this long term.
Keep them away from conflict.
In the same vein, avoid arguing or speaking negatively about their other parent in front of your kids. Remember that your children love you both, and are going through this divorce in their own way.
Consider therapy.
Oftentimes, divorce is more difficult on the children than on the parents. To view a list of qualified therapists, visit our directory and select individual therapy for children in the "Session type" dropdown.
By prioritizing your mental health, engaging in self-care practices, supporting your children, and embracing life after divorce with optimism, you’ve put yourself well on the path toward rediscovering happiness in your next phase of life.