.jpg)
Toxic positivity is the notion that one should always uphold a positive attitude, regardless of how challenging or severe the circumstances may be. Although optimism and positive thinking can have their advantages, toxic positivity dismisses any negative emotions and insists on a constantly upbeat, but often insincere, exterior. When optimism overshadows reality, that’s toxic positivity. This relentless positive spin can quietly chip away at our mental health. In this article, learn to identify toxic positivity, understand its impact, and find a route back to authentic emotional expression.
Key Takeaways
- Toxic positivity leads to the harmful dismissal and minimization of negative emotions under the pretense of maintaining an optimistic outlook, which can aggravate mental health issues and strain personal and professional relationships.
- Toxic positivity creates psychological and emotional strains by invalidating authentic feelings and promoting an unrealistic standard of constant happiness, thus potentially intensifying negative feelings and increasing stress and isolation.
- Combating toxic positivity requires acknowledging and validating the full range of human emotions, practicing mindfulness and emotional awareness, fostering empathy and supportive communication, and embracing personal growth and resilience.
What Is Toxic Positivity?
Toxic positivity involves an exaggerated emphasis on maintaining a happy, optimistic outlook, which often results in the disregarding, diminishing, or outright denial of genuine human emotional experiences. Imagine forcing a positive outlook despite your genuine feelings to the contrary. This can lead to a deterioration in mental health and potentially intensify negative feelings over time. It’s like putting a positive spin on every situation, even when it’s not warranted, thus suppressing negative emotions.
Toxic positivity can take root in our personal expectations and social interactions. Phrases like ‘just be positive’ or ‘look for the silver lining’ may seem harmless but can contribute to the growth of toxic positivity. It’s important to note that while positive thinking is often incorporated in cognitive behavioral therapy to manage mental health issues, it becomes toxic positivity when it entirely denies or dismisses negative emotions.
The therapists at Resilience Lab can help to manage mental health issues and help you understand toxic positivity as well as its impact on your life.
In contrast, healthy positivity and optimism allow for the acknowledgment and validation of difficult experiences. They provide a balanced approach, recognizing both the ups and downs of life. Unlike toxic positivity, healthy positivity doesn’t dismiss or invalidate genuine human emotions but instead treats them as an integral part of the human experience.
The Origins of The Term "Toxic Positivity"
The term ‘toxic positivity’ isn’t officially defined in scientific literature, but it generally pertains to an optimistic approach that dismisses, minimizes, or outrightly denies the legitimacy of other emotions seen as negative. The term, which traces its roots to research on unrealistic optimism that began in the 1980s in the United States, was first directly coined by Gender Studies professor Jack Halberstam. The common use of the term "toxic positivity" became more widespread during the early 2010's.
The spread of toxic positivity can be linked to:
- Societal emphasis on happiness as a desirable state
- The misbelief that being positive is synonymous with being a better individual or employee
- Organizational and managerial cultures that poorly tolerate diverse emotions
- A lack of trust between individuals
These factors can foster an environment where toxic positivity thrives, and raises questions about how toxic positivity can impact individuals.
The Potential Harmful Effects of Toxic Positivity
Toxic positivity can create a false narrative of reality, leading to emotional distress and feelings of shame. It dismisses, ignores, or invalidates people’s feelings, and this can potentially cause more harm than good. It’s like painting a rosy picture while ignoring the thorns. Denying the reality of difficult situations due to toxic positivity can lead to alienation and disconnection from others. This lack of psychological safety can leave individuals feeling isolated and uncertain.
Moreover, minimizing genuine sadness and pain to maintain a positive facade can prevent a person from processing their own negative emotions, which are essential for coping with distress. This can contribute to a passive approach to addressing issues. Just imagine being unable to express your fears or concerns because they might be seen as negative. This is the reality for many who experience toxic positivity.
Emotional Suppression and Its Consequences
A dangerous consequence of toxic positivity is the intensification of negative emotions. When negative feelings such as guilt or shame are suppressed or deemed unacceptable, they can become stronger and harder to manage, leading to increased emotional distress. Continually suppressing emotions can elevate physical responses like heart rate, leading to long-term physical and psychological distress.
Moreover, presenting a facade of constant positivity impairs well-being and may cause long-lasting psychological effects. Shame from not meeting the standards set by toxic positivity can be linked to serious mental health issues, such as eating disorders and PTSD.
When organizations embrace toxic positivity, it can become widespread among employees, leading to increased workplace stress and potential mental health consequences.
Relationship Strain and Inauthenticity
Toxic positivity affects not only individuals but also strains relationships. It can pressure individuals to conceal their true emotions, resulting in inauthentic self-expression. Dismissive comments and blame often result from toxic positivity, leading individuals to avoid seeking support and lacking validation in their personal and professional relationships.
In the workplace, toxic positivity can undermine the psychological safety of a team, making it difficult to maintain genuine, supportive connections. Some common signs of toxic positivity include irritation at others’ negative emotions, using phrases that minimize feelings, and avoiding meaningful conversations.
Recognizing and Addressing Toxic Positivity
Addressing toxic positivity involves recognizing the signs and responding appropriately. This includes acknowledging a full range of emotions in oneself, which is essential in combating toxic positivity. Modeling authentic emotional expression for children can equip them with the skills to process and accept their emotions, helping avert the development of toxic positivity.
Self-validation is a key strategy in acknowledging one’s true emotions and resisting the urge to conform to toxic positive norms.
Spotting the Signs of Toxic Positivity
Spotting the signs of toxic positivity is the first step towards addressing it. Phrases like ‘good vibes only,’ which dismiss negative thoughts and emotions even in distressing situations, are indicative of toxic positivity. A common manifestation of toxic positivity is denying or dismissing negative emotions by spinning bad situations into positive vibes.
Toxic positivity can lead to perceptions that sharing painful emotions is unacceptable, which may put a strain on relationships. If you encounter individuals who consistently dismiss or invalidate your negative feelings, you may be experiencing toxic positivity from others.
Responding to Toxic Positivity in Others
Responding to toxic positivity in others requires tact and understanding. It’s important to recognize someone’s well-intentioned behavior while also suggesting more supportive forms of communication. To avoid toxic positivity, express appreciation for the support but clarify that it’s not what you need at the moment.
When engaging in toxic positivity, it’s critical to:
- Own up to the mistake
- Admit it and apologize
- Maintain a healthy dialogue
- Prevent further harm
Remember, it’s okay not to be okay, and it’s perfectly normal to express a range of emotions, both positive and negative.
Embracing Authentic Positivity
Embracing authentic positivity is a proactive step towards countering toxic positivity. It involves practicing mindfulness, fostering emotional awareness, and nurturing empathy and supportive communication, all of which contribute to developing a positive attitude.
Allowing for the full spectrum of natural emotions, even the uncomfortable ones, is crucial for rejecting negative emotions, combating toxic positivity, and fostering emotional well-being.
Practicing Mindfulness and Emotional Awareness
Practicing mindfulness and emotional awareness can help individuals in the following ways:
- Recognize and accept negative emotions
- Enhance emotional regulation
- Increase resilience
- Forge deeper connections with others
By making space for all feelings, you can enhance your emotional regulation, become more resilient, and forge deeper connections with others.
Mindfulness techniques, such as self-check-ins to name emotions and the use of mood-tracking apps, can provide valuable information for understanding complex feelings and emotional patterns. Taking a moment to compose oneself before confronting negative thoughts is a practical mindfulness approach that supports a healthier outlook.
Awareness of one’s own feelings and personal emotional responses to stress is key in maintaining a positive perspective during challenging times.
Fostering Empathy and Supportive Communication
Fostering empathy and supportive communication is a key aspect of embracing authentic positivity. Directly asking others about their feelings and discussing emotions can strengthen connections and provide insightful perspectives on one’s own emotional responses. Being aware of and sensitive to others’ emotional expressions, such as through body language and facial expressions, is crucial for accurate understanding and supportive communication.
Empathy can be nurtured by:
- Actively engaging with different perspectives and lived experiences, such as through reading literature or interacting with diverse cultures
- Asking open-ended questions
- Finding common ground
These practices can help to overcome barriers to empathy and inspire prosocial actions within relationships.
Navigating Difficult Situations with Healthy Positivity
Navigating difficult situations with healthy positivity involves setting boundaries, prioritizing self-care, and embracing growth and resilience. To stay positive, it’s essential to maintain this mindset throughout the process.
Self-differentiation allows individuals to respect their unique thoughts and feelings, aiding confidence and comfort even in the face of differing opinions.
Setting Boundaries and Prioritizing Self-Care
Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care helps individuals maintain a balance between personal needs and external demands. Adequate sleep, for instance, is essential to nurture emotional resilience and positivity when facing life’s challenges. Engaging in self-care activities tailored to individual needs can prevent overwhelming emotions from negatively impacting one’s life.
Learning to say no is essential for setting boundaries and protecting one’s time for self-care purposes. Clear communication is key when declining requests that conflict with personal boundaries or self-care time. Prioritizing personal needs is crucial to ensure self-care is not neglected due to the demands of others.
Embracing Growth and Resilience
Embracing growth and resilience allows individuals to manage stress, rebound from setbacks, and develop a balanced approach to both positive and negative experiences. Resilience is a crucial aspect of personal development, equipping individuals to manage stress and rebound from setbacks. Viewing criticism as an opportunity for learning and growth supports the development of resilience.
Unlike toxic positivity, which discourages acknowledging any form of negativity, resilience involves a balanced approach to both positive and negative experiences. Resilient individuals:
- Use their experiences, including criticism, to confront challenges and emerge stronger
- Acknowledge and process negative feelings
- Learn from setbacks and use them as opportunities for growth
- Maintain a positive mindset while also being realistic about challenges and obstacles
Frequently Asked Questions
How can toxic positivity harm us?
Toxic positivity can harm us by leading to emotional suppression, strained relationships, and inauthentic self-expression, negatively impacting mental health and well-being.
How can we recognize toxic positivity?
Toxic positivity can be recognized by irritation at others' negative emotions, dismissive phrases, and avoiding meaningful conversations.
How can we respond to toxic positivity?
Responding to toxic positivity involves recognizing well-intentioned behavior, suggesting more supportive communication, and admitting mistakes when engaging in toxic positivity. It’s important to address it directly and promote healthy, genuine conversations.
How can we navigate difficult situations with healthy positivity?
To navigate difficult situations with healthy positivity, it's important to set boundaries, prioritize self-care, and embrace growth and resilience. These steps can help you maintain a positive mindset and navigate challenges effectively.
If you or someone you know is experiencing a crisis and needs immediate help, please call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room. This article is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of a qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.
Clinically Reviewed by Christine Carville, LCSW-R.
Christine Carville, LCSW-R, is the co-founder and Chief Clinical Officer of Resilience Lab. Christine developed the Resilience Methodology, a trans-theoretical training model for therapists to provide individualized, flexible, trauma-informed care. She has also been teaching at the Columbia School of Social Work since 2016 and continues to maintain her own private psychotherapy practice.